While advice from the internet, family, friends, preemie support guides, or the neonatal unit parent community can sometimes help you cope, there are times when changes in your mental health may require professional support. Family members may also help you access professional services to support you and your family. Struggling with mental health is not a sign of weakness or failure, and seeking help is a vital step for both your well-being and your baby’s safety. Many parents experience challenges with their emotional well-being after having a baby, especially when they have experienced a stay in the NICU. Health professionals understand that keeping families together is important, and it is very rare for families to be separated because of mental health concerns.

Recognising signs to seek help immediately

It is important to recognise the signs that indicate a parent or caregiver may be unable to cope and needs immediate support. These include:

• Feeling hopeless or unable to get out of bed to care for your baby
• Thinking about self-harm or suicide
• Feeling overwhelmed with anger toward the baby or having thoughts of harming or shaking the baby
• Experiencing severe anxiety⍰, panic, or depressive symptoms that interfere with daily life
• A history of serious mental illness or previous hospitalisations, which may require closer monitoring

If you notice any of these signs in yourself or someone you know, it is essential to seek help immediately. Even if a parent cannot acknowledge these feelings, partners, family members, or friends can play an important role by alerting professionals.

Safeguarding is key

While mental health challenges do not mean you cannot be a good parent, ensuring the child’s safety is most important. If there are concerns about a caregiver’s ability to cope, professionals will take steps to ensure both the baby and the family are supported. If in doubt, always prioritise the child’s safety and reach out for help.

If you are still in the neonatal unit, consider speaking with someone from the healthcare team, for example one of the nurses. Nurses see you daily and understand the pressures parents face. They can give you information about counselling or psychological support on the unit. Some units have mental health professionals on staff, such as:

• Psychologists: They can provide therapy, which may help you process your experience and learn techniques to help you cope with your difficulties.
• Psychotherapists: They have a specialised training in psychotherapy and help you manage feelings like anxiety⍰ by working through them with you.
• Psychiatrists: These are doctors who specialise in mental health and can prescribe medication to minimise anxiety⍰, depression⍰, or mood swings, if needed.
• Social workers: They can provide practical and emotional support, including help with accessing resources or managing family and financial issues.
• Mentor parents: These are mothers and fathers of preterm or sick babies who have been trained to support their peers.
• Perinatal mental health services: In different countries there are specialist perinatal mental health services that the healthcare team is aware of and can signpost to.

If help in the hospital is not available, you can speak to your general practitioner (GP)⍰. They can talk through your experiences and suggest therapies, treatments, or medications that might help.

When you are looking for professional help, you might feel nervous about what your healthcare professional will suggest. Not all mental conditions need medication – there are other options like psychoeducation⍰ or therapy, counselling, or mindfulness techniques. If you are worried, consider taking someone with you to your appointment for support. Your healthcare professional will work with you to find the best approach, so share any concerns you have.

Many breastfeeding mothers worry that taking medication might stop them from breastfeeding. If you are concerned, talk to your healthcare professional. They can help you find the best treatment options that work with breastfeeding.